Welcome to my new look blog!

Hello and welcome to my new blog and website.

Everything that was on turnips at dawn and the blog are still here. You can browse and view exactly the same way as before. You can still leave comments and most of your comments will already be on this site in fact!

Enjoy.

Last Book I fell in Love With…Fatal Shadows

Loving the Imperfect Hero by Ellis Carrington

I want to thank Julia for giving me the opportunity to guest blog. Her request for an article about the last book I fell in love with immediately brought Josh Lanyon to mind, and Fatal Shadows, book one of his fantastic Adrien English series.

Okay, true confession time: I, a married mom of two, am in love with a gay man. Now if my husband were reading this over my shoulder, he would double over in laughter at that statement. “Not just one, “ he’d scoff while holding his sides. “Is this about Adam Lambert again?”

Actually, no.

Oh, don’t get me wrong. I adore Adam from his glittery hair to his pedicured toes – but this is something a little more complicated. I’m in love with a FICTIONAL gay man. That’s right. His name is Adrien English.

Created by the great and mystical Josh Lanyon, Adrien doesn’t exist in real life, and even if he did I would have no hope of pleasing him whatsoever. If you’re scratching your head and saying “Who?” don’t feel bad – go ahead and pop over to Amazon and do a search. We’ll wait here while you download Fatal Shadows to your computer or mobile device of choice…

Great!

Now, I know that I am not alone here. All over the interweb I have encountered men and women who love Lanyon’s work in general (he is probably a far better writer on his worst day than I can conceive of being on my best) and Adrien English specifically. I’m thinking about starting a local support group (“Hi, my name is Ellis, and I’m in love with Adrien English…”). We might even have t-shirts printed (“I fell in love with Adrien English and all I got was a hefty Amazon.com invoice and this lousy t-shirt.”).

*ahem* Anyhoo…

For me, Adrien English is the perfect hero. He’s not a Navy SEAL, a werewolf warrior, or any other version of stereotypical beefcake-y-Alpha-maleness (What?? It is TOO a word.) . He’s a bookseller with a heart condition and a Miss Marple-ish tendency to nose around where he shouldn’t. But he’s refreshingly self-actualized. He’s confident and unapologetic about who he is, but his feelings get hurt sometimes. He seems pragmatic, but he’s a novelist so we know he’s imaginative. Not only is he well-off, but he’s humble about it. Sure, he knows how to shoot stuff, but probably wouldn’t. He’s wicked smart. Caring. Oh, yeah, and he loves his mom. The whole package that is Adrien is just sooo darned sexy.

I can still recall precise moment when I knew he had me for sure: There’s a scene in Fatal Shadows where he chooses to have sex with a homicidal maniac who he knows will probably try to kill him. It isn’t clear that doing so will save him, nor does he know for sure if help is coming. And despite the overwhelming horror and fear, his body still responds to this madman. He manages to feel for the horrible history that turned the villain into what he had become, even as he fights not to cry out in pain.

Hands down, it is the bravest moment I have witnessed from any hero in any novel I have ever read, and it is why Adrien English is the hero against which I will compare all others.

I’m told there is a trend back towards the flawless he-man type hero lately. Why on earth?? In my very humble and totally inexpert opinion, flaws are necessary to make a hero truly great. Without them, as Robert McKee says, your character is as flat as a table top.

So, in sum, the last book I really fell in love with Fatal Shadows, by Josh Lanyon. All because of Adrien. Interested? You can find out more at Josh’s web site.

All right! I’ve shown you mine, will you show me yours? Get your mind out of the gutter, I meant your hero. Who’s *your* favorite, and why?

Ellis Carrington is a woman who loves men who love men (who love men!) and has been since she stole a copy of The New Joy of Gay Sex from her local library as a teenager. Learn more at her blog, Manlove Paranormal. Please also check out her latest short story, an erotic M/M/M about new beginnings for a college football quarterback in the Ravenous Romance erotic anthology, Touchdowns.

Julia: And one lucky commenter can win a free copy! So get commenting. Right now. *stern mummy face*

How to… Be patient in writing

By Lisa M Cronkhite

Are you one of those people that can’t stand waiting in lines at the grocery store? Anxious to get a phone call or email? Especially from and agent or editor? [note from Julia - HELL YES! ] Well, I am that type of person too. Learning to be patient is one of my weakest attributes in life.

I first started writing poetry years ago. Then when I finally showed someone, they liked it so much, they thought I should send it somewhere. So I thought, well, why not? No one told me I would wait up to a year to hear back. But when I first got a response, it became addictive. And when I got my first acceptance, I was hooked.

But the process of waiting is a long one in this industry, and it’s very difficult for some, if not many. The ways that I cope to try to relax and wait, is to start on something new. Keep writing. Keep exercising your right to write! And enjoy the freedom of having a pen and paper handy. Because you can escape anywhere in writing. And it helps pass the time too while you’re waiting! Plus you will build not only your writing skills, you will have more to submit.

Also give yourself room to breathe and enjoy life. Open your mind to new things and new hobbies. Don’t put all your eggs in one basket (cliché as it is) but still. It is always good to have something else in the wings.

If you want this to be your life career, then you’ll need all the patience you can get. Keep your options open at all times. And play the field in writing, find your niche. It took me several years to figure out my voice, from poetry to children’s stories to young adult novels. So what are you waiting for? Don’t wait, write now. And then when those emails do come, it will much more worth the wait.

Bio:

Lisa has been writing for the past seven years and has published work in various print and online magazines such as The Storyteller, Poetry Salzburg Review, Triggerfish Critical Review, Ascent Aspirations, and many more. After taking a two-year writer’s course at the Institute of Children’s Literature, based in Connecticut, Lisa has received a certificate and six college credits.

Lisa’s latest release, Dreaming a Reality is out today!

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You can find out more here

How to… Promote your book.

Seleste deLaney—Promo Rookie

When Julia first asked me to write a post on promotion, my first thought was “Oh, I so don’t think you want me doing that.” After all, I’m not someone who’s been around for years—my first story was just published in August. After I thought about it for a minute though, I realized I had to start somewhere too. You see, promo is something that every author, no matter how big or small, faces. Sure, you can throw your book out there and hope someone picks it up, but with all the stories available, the odds of a random reader finding yours with that method…not so good.

Publishers (big or small) want books to succeed, but some of them quite simply don’t have the kind of financial backing for big promotional pushes of NYC publishing. What that means is a lot of the promo is left up to the author. Now, if you’re lucky, your publisher is doing some work in the background that you don’t know about. I had one put a two-page ad in Romantic Times magazine (my book was one of eight featured). Another makes sure that every release is available on NetGalley (which is a huge site for online reviewers). To put it simply, if you’re lucky, they’re doing something.

But the author needs to work too. For my first two releases, the vast majority of reviews I received were ones I asked for. I stalked the internet and twitter looking for reviewers I thought might be interested and hitting them up. I also asked friends who happen to be reviewers as well. The absolute most important things to remember when asking for reviews are to be polite and accept it if they say no. There are a million reasons for a no, and that includes a no after they say they’ll read it. If your story doesn’t grab them, they have every right to set it down.

To go with the reviews though, you want potential readers to have the opportunity to get to know you as a person. That means working the guest blog and interview angles. Again, for your first time out, you might have to ask for those spots—be polite and accept it if the answer is no (Are you sensing the trend here? Good.). If you land a spot though, do your damnedest to make sure you get things in on time. I will admit, I’ve been a little late to the game more than once, but I don’t think I’ve ever missed turning something I promised in.

These are the most important lessons I’ve learned about promo over the last several months:
1) Be as professional as you can. I’m a laid back person most of the time, but I try to put on my game face every time I promo.
2) Keep a good calendar. Better yet, keep a couple, and make sure they’re updated regularly. (An example of one of my mess-ups, I somehow missed Julia and I setting a date and had to re-schedule. Glad she was understanding.)
3) Be willing to step outside your comfort zone—variety is the spice of life and all that. I hate, hate, hate being on camera, but I spent money to have an author media kit (photos and video) made this year. I went on to do not one, but two video blogs over the holidays (when I was sick no less), and I have another one planned for April.
4) Be willing to spend money for promo, but be wise about it. There are a lot of options for promotion out there, and it’s easy to spend a lot of cash.
5) Learn from your mistakes but don’t regret them. If a certain type of promo doesn’t work for you, don’t do it again, but look at it as a learning experience.
6) Above all, try to have fun with it.

Promo isn’t easy. It’s a lot of work, and in the end, it takes a certain amount of faith to believe that it’s going to pay off. But as authors, we’ve weathered the storm of rejections, revisions, delayed releases, and all sorts of other things—we kind of live by faith.

Seleste deLaney is not a promo queen. She is however an author. You can find her newest release Badlands at Carina Press and other online retailers. In addition, you can find her personally on her blog, Facebook, and twitter.

How to… Stay sane with social media

By Alex Beecroft

Like most new writers, when I signed the contract on my first book, I had very fixed ideas of what the writing life would involve. These involved a great deal of solitude, long walks in empty parks and sitting at my word processor in a lovely little attic garret with the sun streaming in through the windows.
Occasionally – I dared to think – I might get a fan letter, or be asked to attend a book signing. But for the rest of the time I would be alone with my books and my fictional worlds, free to write all day and be paid for it.

That dream did not long survive the reality. These days it seems that a writer is expected to write 5,000 words in an hour before breakfast, and then spend the rest of the day on the internet, blogging, tweeting, Facebooking, answering emails, attending Yahoo chats, being interviewed by other writers, interviewing other writers, running contests, promoting, advertising, networking, being seen in the right places, saying the right things to the right people about the issues of the day, while being gracious, professional, happy, encouraging and inspirational to others.
If you’re an extrovert and you are energized and enthused by talking to other people, then this may not seem so bad. But you’re a writer, right? And writing is pretty much a career that self-selects for people who love to spend the majority of their time alone with a piece of paper and their inner voices.
So what can you do to prevent yourself from plunging into all of this, swimming frantically for a while and then going down, overwhelmed by the fact that a writer’s life has very little to do with writing? Here are my very hard won tips:
1. Writing time must come first.
If you have one free hour a day and it’s a choice between spending it on social media or spending it on writing, write. You are not a writer unless you write, and a new book will promote your work better than any amount of blogging could.
2. Only follow blogs that inspire you.
Many people love a bit of conflict and controversy, and there are plenty of blogs which will provide it for them. But if you are unsettled by conflict and find it stops you from writing, you are allowed simply not to look. Don’t waste your limited time and energy on things that prevent you from writing.
3. Do not get involved with flamewars/wank on the internet.
Every so often a massive controversy will appear to shake the roots of your genre, and everyone you know will be up in arms about it on one side or the other. Dealing with this will suck up your writing time and your energy. So don’t deal with it. Avoid the controversy and unplug the internet until it’s all over. You don’t have to have an opinion (or at least, you are not obliged to express your opinion) on every contentious topic out there. If you actually want to, and you have the spoons to deal with the subsequent conversation/rant, of course, then have at it.
4. Make the most of your blogging time.
Readers will be looking to find out about your books, so you need at least a basic website. Publishers are looking for you to have some internet presence too, so you probably can’t get completely out of blogging. However, it’s not too difficult to update your blog once a week and have that update fed automatically to other social media outlets such as Twitter/Facebook using nifty software like Ping.press or Wordbooker. A once a week post to prove you’re still alive and working should be enough as long as you’re still writing and publishing new books.

5. Look after your psychological health.
If reading about other people’s successes gets you down, don’t read about it. If you get a bad review, don’t advertise it by talking about it. There is a massive pressure to be out there and available all the time, but you must look after yourself first, or you won’t be any good to anyone. Give yourself permission to unplug and go for a walk, or read, or have a calming bath, or finish your chapter. You cannot be a writer unless you write. So – first and foremost, last and hindmost – you must protect the sometimes fragile thing that gives you your ability to write. Everything else takes second place to that.
~

Alex Beecroft writes full blooded vintage fiction with a slice of lime, and can be found at her website, on livejournal, or on Twitter @Alex_Beecroft

How to… Keep your editor happy.

By Sara Townsend

Writing is a lifelong learning process. But, much like driving, the more confident you become in your skills, the easier it is to unconsciously fall into bad habits. And sometimes you are completely unaware of these bad habits until you have an editor gnashing his or her teeth over your manuscript.

Here I present a few things I learned along the way that I try to heed, to prevent my editor feeling the urge to bash me over the head with my own manuscript.

Show, Don’t Tell
Pretty simple, this. Writing “he slammed the book down on the table” says the same thing as “he was angry” but in a much more expressive way.

Avoiding The Word “Said”
I remember my English teacher telling me to always find another word to use than “said.” “Said” was boring. The truth is, though, one can never over-use the word “said”. If you have characters who gush, assert, snap, growl or worse, ejaculate, their words, it takes the reader out of the story pretty quickly. The same can be said for too many adverbs after the word “said”. ‘He said quickly’, ‘she said angrily,’ ‘he said brightly’, and so on. This relates back to the first point – taking more care over what’s actually being said will transmit very clearly the emotions behind the dialogue.

Dialogue Tags
Relating to the last point, something that really bugs my editor is a piece of dialogue that’s full of “he said/she said”. If you have two characters carrying on a conversation, it’s not always necessary to point out who’s speaking, and you can make it clear by clarifying an action. So for instance:

He put the mug down on the table. “Here’s your tea.”
She picked it up. “Thanks.”’

You don’t need dialogue tags at all here, because it’s perfectly clear who’s saying what.

Of course, you can take this too far the other way. Kathy Reichs is one of my favourite authors, but she has a habit of writing four pages of dialogue with no speech tags at all, to the point I have to go back to the beginning of the chapter and start counting to work out who’s saying what.

Head Hopping
An easy trap to fall into when you’re writing in third person is to go blithely hopping from one character’s POV to another. You can’t have, for instance: Mary walked into the room, aware of John’s eyes on her. He didn’t like the dress she was wearing; it made her look dowdy.

The first sentence is Mary’s POV, the second is John’s. But you could say: Mary walked into the room, aware of John’s eyes on her. She knew he didn’t like her wearing that dress. Which keeps us in Mary’s POV.

I see this far more often than I should in published novels, but I was guilty of it myself in my first published novel. Fortunately for me, my editor picked it up. I try very hard not to do it again.

All of these sins I’d been made aware of before I got to editor stage, yet still I was guilty of them all when my editor came to work on my manuscript. I try very hard now to keep these lessons in mind when I re-write. Can I lose some of these dialogue tags? Am I straying from this character’s POV? Do I really need an adverb here? Am I ‘telling’? How can I ‘show’ instead?

It’s best to be aware of these habits early on, and get them out of your system before you even have an editor. The more good habits you hone as a writer, the happier your editor will be. And a happy editor is a Very Good Thing.

Sara-Jayne Townsend is a UK-based writer of crime and horror. She was born in Cheshire in 1969, but spent most of the 1980s living in Canada after her family emigrated there. She now lives in Surrey with two cats and her husband Chris. She co-founded the T Party Writers’ Group in 1994, and remains Chair Person.

She decided she was going to be a published novelist when she was 10 years old and finished her first novel a year later. It took 30 years of submitting, however, to fulfil that dream. Her first novel, SUFFER THE CHILDREN, was published as an e-book by Lyrical Press, Inc. in 2010 (available here).

Her next book, DEATH SCENE, is the first in a series about amateur sleuth and Canadian actress Shara Summers, and will be released as an e-book by Lyrical Press, Inc. later this year.

You can learn more about Sara and her writing at her website at or her blog

How to… Getting started

So, you want to write. Huzzah! Many people want to write /think they have a novel in them. Many of those won’t get past the first chapter, or if they do, will never finish. If you want to, if you realise that whatever your preconceptions, writing is not easy, then here are a few tips for starters.

Firstly, disabuse yourself of the notion here is the One True Way to write a novel, the Formula that means it will be the next Harry Potter and you’ll be in the jacuzzi with a million pounds. There is not a formula. There is also no one way…which is good. There are as many ways of writing a novel as there are writers – possibly more, because it isn’t the same for each novel.

The two extremes are this:

Outline the heck out of it so you know what happens in each paragraph before you you write it

Have no freaking idea what the book is about until it’s there on the paper.

Neither are bad. Neither are good, if they don’t work for you. Most writers fall somewhere in between. I’m waaaay more of a pantser myself (I like to have a pithy line of dialogue in mind for near the end, and work towards that, seat of the pants style) Other than that, I have a character in mind, and just see what happens. Weirdness, quite often.

There is a reason for this – I’m the sort of writer where the act of writing makes the ideas and connections flow. So, I might write an outline and then all these little ideas pop up as I write and…5k words later, the outline bears no resemblance to what I’m writing. And the little ‘ideas as I write’ are almost always the best bit. But that’s me. Your mileage may vary. Find/think/discover what works for you. There is no one right way. There IS the way that gets the book written for you.

Very many writers swear by working out what needs to happen before they write though (I hope to have a ‘how to…outline’ later in the series) so if that sounds like you, go for it. Just be aware that it’s very easy to labour over the outline (plus worldbuilding if you’re writing fantasy) and then never get round to writing the book. Worldbuilding/outlining can be great, but not if you do it at the expense of actually writing the thing. Sounds obvious, but a lot of would-be writers get caught in the trap.

Okay, so we’re getting there. You’ve started writing. You look at it, you think either one of two things (get used to it, writers sway between these two as an occupational hazard) ‘It’s pants’ and ‘It’s like the best novel that has EVER BEEN WRITTEN! I AM A GENIUS’

If you think it’s crap…take heart. Your first draft is not supposed to be perfect. That is what editing/rewrites are for. First get it written, then get it right.

If you think it’s 100% genius..actually when you’re starting out, that’s more of an issue. Really. No book is 100% genius. But you’re so damn pleased you got the book out of you, onto the page, it’s awesome, it’s fab, it’s the best thing since sliced bread. Yes. I have been there.

It almost certainly isn’t. Now, you might be the genius that proves the rule. But let’s face it, you probably aren’t. But there is a solution. It’s called ‘learning to take constructive criticism’. It will be vital. Really. If someone says ‘this is confusing’ or ‘the characters feel flat’ or whatever, you don’t have to listen to them. They might be the exception, or rubbish writers themselves or…. But if you end up ignoring them you should always consider what they said.

Now.

Rules. You will see, if you surf re writing, a lot of things posited as ‘rules’. Don’t start with the weather, or the MC (main character) waking up or dialogue..any number of things.

They are not rules. No, the rules in writing pertain to concrete things like grammar and punctuation and the one, singular rule that you should always adhere to: Always entertain the reader. Which is subjective anyway, and therefore, not really a rule. So, do it, As long as it worksAnd not just for you, for the people you ask to read it. Because you will ask people to read it.

So, you want to write.

Three things you need to do, if you want to be a writer who isn’t just someone who talks about writing.

Read widely, and analyse what you read (how did they make me feel that? How did they go from one scene to the next? Why does this plot work and that one not? Read with writing in mind)

Write often – it’s way, waay too easy to only write when the muse is upon you. But if you write often (every day, even if a little) then the muse will come find you and ask you to party. With tequila. Writing begets writing. Really. Be aware it can also be addictive.

But the biggest, most important thing you can do (other than actually put words in) is this

HAVE FUN!

Resources for beginning writers

Grammar for Dummies (US or UK edition) in any good bookshop or online.
Self Editing for Fiction writers < how to clean up your prose and a general guide to Stuff What Works.
Absolute Write – the number one resource for writers on the web. Ask any damn daft question, and you’ll have experienced writers help you out.

Cream cake words

Cream cake words. I expect you would like a definition, yes? Those words/phrases with lots of calories but no nutritional value. Or lots of words but no narrative value. Especially—but not only—with reference to description. Yes, I know I’ve talked about description before, but this is slightly different. Yes, in fantasy you must describe the new, other world, how it’s different to this one. But…

Take a certain couple of books I have I mind. In many respects I enjoyed them, but…when it spends an inordinate amount of time explaining that they ate snowroot with wibblesplat sauce, and chopped up pigroot herb to flavour it and…and what image/taste do I get from this?

Nothing.

Because I do not know what snowroot tastes like, or wibblesplat sauce or how the herb pigroot would change it. It’s totally meaningless (empty of nutritional value), only giving the illusion of setting without actually adding anything but filler to the story. Cream cake words. Now, the writer could have cut those words, and used them on something that would have had meaning to me, Earthling, so I would know it was like this, something I do know, only different. Or they could have just described the texture, how it slithered down the throat, how it made the characters feel… A skilful writer can draw parallels and show differences in a way that actually means something to the reader. And then those words would have value, rather than be empty calories.

A relation to this is of course, things being described in loving detail for a page or so that bear little or no relation to anything, even atmosphere, never to appear again. Or a surprise expostionary treatise on the mating habits of seals whole breed a thousand miles away, right in the middle of a vital conversation. Or a fifty page ‘Tom Bombadil’ that looks nice, but adds absolutely zero or near as dammit to the plot/atmosphere. It’s so very unsubtle. Just like that chocolate eclair…

By contrast I adore really well done description/narration. The sort where you don’t realise you’ve seen any description until you stop and can see the whole thing in your head. A few telling words in this sentence, a new and interesting simile or metaphor in that one. Picking out a unique detail there, twisting it through the narrative just so…and BOOM! I am there, in that world, with those characters. No page long description of Our Noble Hero or the forging history of his potato peeler. No mind-numbing info dump of background stuff. Just subtle, well-done narrative that carries the story along and at one and the same time shows you this world in loving detail.

Words that have value, and leave you feeling full, rather than craving whatever’s in the fridge/next on the bookshelf.

I’ll leave you to guess which one I aim for. Getting it right though is a lifetime’s work.

Truly, Madly, Deeply

The mission, should I choose to accept it, was simple. 26 writers in the romance genre would each write a short romance story on a theme. These stories would not self-destruct in ten seconds, but would in fact be posted weekly as free reads.

Truly, Madly, Deeply Romance was conceived, and is due to be born today! Contests! Prizes!

So come on over for a chance of free stuff! First free read coming soon on the 12th

Men are People Too

The other day I took my life in my hands, and asked Scarlett Parrish if she’d like to write a blog for me. So, for those of you with delicate sensibilities, you may wish to hide under the sofa, as she is the smuttiest moobag I know. And that’s saying something, because I know me.

MEN ARE PEOPLE TOO

For some reason Julia saw fit to hand her blog over to me to talk about whatever I chose, which is an act of extreme daring even Van Gasp would shy away from. But I promise I won’t be too naughty.

Maybe.

My third novel, By the Book, was released by Loose Id, LLC on the 4th of January this year and it’s the result of my first attempt at M/M. Mind, there are other romantic pairings and triplings (yes, really) in this book, but the hot man-on-man action was uncharted territory for me.

The overwhelming majority of my writing is in first person (my only third-person manuscript is currently on submission; wish me luck) and as By the Book focuses on M/M, I was kinda obligated to write from a male point of view for the first time ever.

The strange thing is, I started the novel writing from the main female character’s viewpoint. But something didn’t feel right. I wanted to explore the dynamic between three people who were involved in a sexual relationship, but that sense of morality in the pit of my stomach – yes, I do have one! – bothered me. If Georgia, who had a boyfriend, got involved with another man with her boyfriend’s permission, fair enough. But what if she developed an emotional attachment to her lover, too? Would that not be borderline cheating? What if Reece, her boyfriend, said that too was okay? No conflict, then. And no conflict means no story.

Then it came to me: my main character wasn’t a woman at all. This book needed to be written from Reece’s point of view. It wasn’t about a woman torn between two men. It was about a man, in love with his girlfriend, who develops an attraction to another man (their third) for the first time in his life. Much more opportunity for things to get complicated, there. And boy did they ever.

Of course we can snigger and laugh about the ins and outs (snerk) of a M/M sex scene, but my deepest concerns were getting into the male mindset. Then I realised, I didn’t have to make Reece Hutton sound like Everyman. I just had to make him sound like himself. Distinct. Believable. True.

The best piece of advice I ever received about writing cross-gender was “Don’t write about a man. Just write about a human being who happens to be male.”

Reece has feelings, but I didn’t want him to come across as one of those chicks-with-dicks, over-emotional weeping manginas, one crying jag away from menstruating. Hell, I hate women like that, never mind male characters! So as I wrote, I made a conscious effort to limit his angsting and introspection. Yes, men think and feel too, but they’re perhaps more solutions-oriented than women, the majority of whom (not all, but most) like to discuss things and analyse and examine. I wanted Reece to feel and express his curiosity, lust, guilt, frustration, but subtly, and without taking it too far. I wanted his actions to show the kind of person he was, rather than any deep and meaningful internal monologue.

I pulled right back and made him aware of his surroundings, the people he spent time with and his confusion, and left him to it. My prime directive was not to interfere!

On Reece’s part, navel-gazing was forbidden. Gazing at Daniel F***ing Cross’s appendage was more than all right, though. I think I pulled it off. And so did Reece.

Whadaya know? Men are people too.

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AUTHOR BIO

Scarlett Parrish lives in the U.K. in the small corner of her flat not currently overrun by books. She can often be found drooling over James Purefoy or searching for the perfect chocolate bar. She believes most fleshpeoples (except James) are evil and much prefers the characters in her head. On the occasions she ventures out, Scarlett is always accompanied by her BONER—Black Omnipresent Notebook of Erotic Romance. One never knows when inspiration will strike. Sometimes she’ll visit the cinema, alone but for the aforementioned characters. Another favourite pastime is listening to 30 Seconds to Mars and thinking about Shannon Leto’s tattoos. A chronic insomniac, she writes most of her dirty books in the middle of the night and loves to keep her e-reader stocked with erotic romance to occupy her down time.

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BOOK BLURB

Two’s company; three’s allowed.

Reece Hutton conducts his life between the covers — of books and beds. A librarian by day, in the evenings he’s a man whose tastes are anything but vanilla. So when local writer Daniel Cross appears in the library one afternoon with the aim of doing some research, Reece has a hard time not noticing how attractive he is, or what feels like chemistry between them. They exchange a few words and Daniel’s business card, an interlude which Reece puts down to networking rather than flirtation.

After all, he has his girlfriend Georgia to go home to and her best friend: a threesome to help his birthday go literally with a bang. Reece, being a gentleman (most of the time), has no objection to returning the favor, especially as his new friend Daniel seems all too willing to be their third for an evening. Georgia sees their triangle as nothing more than a temporary bit of fun but Reece…? He’ll eventually have to own up to breaking the unwritten rules of their relationship or close the book on a growing attraction to Daniel.

Publisher’s Note: This book contains explicit sexual content, graphic language, and situations that some readers may find objectionable: Male/male sexual practices, menage (m/f/m, f/m/f with female interaction).

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Purchase link: http://www.loose-id.com/By-the-Book.aspx
Author website: http://scarlettparrish.blogspot.com/
Contact Scarlett at: scarlettparrish@gmail.com
Follow her on Twitter: http://twitter.com/#!/scarlettparrish

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Blimey that was quite clean. Possibly she’s sickening for something.

AW Musical chairs blog

So, it was a challenge. Some writers get together, decide to write something not in their genre, and post the result.

Other entries can be found :

Week One (January 7th)

Regan Leigh’s blog
Gary
Claire- blog
Hillary – blog
GradyHendrix – blog

Week Two (January 14th)
Amanda- blog
Dolores- blog
Ben- blog
Agnyl78- blog
Jamie- blog
Cole – blog
Scarlett- blog

Week Three (January 21st)
Me!
Janine- blog
Aheila- blog
Mike- blog
CScottMorris- blog

Week Four (January 28th)
Sianshan- blog
Ralph Pines- blog
rmgil04- blog
Proach- blog
Regypsy- blog
LadyCat- blog

I was given humour or mystery. I cheated a bit…it’s fantasy with humorous and mysterious bits It also features a few characters from my latest release.

The Mysterious Case of the Unicorn.

‘So, it turns out she was in the loony bin the whole time.’ Guld chuckled at his own story.

Van Gast, racketeer extraordinaire and captain of this vessel, leant back in his chair, swayed with the swell of the sea and glared at his ship’s mage. ‘What has that got to do with the matter in hand?’

Guld tried a strained smile and twisted his fingers in his lap. ‘Um, well, not much I suppose. But I—.’ He caught sight of Van Gast’s face. ‘Nothing really. Sorry Van.’

‘Good. So now we have that out of the way, have you any sensible suggestions as to what the buggery we’re going to do about it? I’d sell it, if I could think of anyone to buy it, but there isn’t anyone that stupid.’ Van considered. ‘Well, not that’s got any money anyway.’

A thud reverberated under the deck, followed by a stomping sound, an irate neighing and another thud.

‘It’s magic—that’s your thing. If you could think of something before the bloody thing puts another hole in the ship, it’d be handy. I don’t fancy sinking much.’

‘Well, er, well I don’t know Van. I’d send it back, only I don’t where it came from.’

Van Gast sprang up from his chair and paced across the violently green rug that brightened his captain’s quarters. The movement made Forn’s bells at his ankle chime, an angry, discordant sound in keeping with his agitation. Not much of a prayer for Forn, merciless god of the sea, but there were plenty of other bells, a set on every man and woman who sailed, an entreaty against what they all feared—death by drowning. Someone else could make a nice prayer with a happy jig today, because Van Gast wasn’t in the mood.

Another thud made the timbers shake his boots. ‘Well, that’s the point isn’t it? You don’t know where it came from because they’re supposed to be mythical. Come on, let’s have another look, maybe we can figure it out. Maybe we can tame it, then we could sell it.’

Only taming it seemed unlikely. Van Gast ran down the steps to the hold, bells jingling, Guld tripping over his too-long robe as he tried to follow. The thuds were louder here and the bulkhead was showing the strain. Splinters sprayed the deck and fist-sized holes let them look into the darkness at the monster beyond.

It didn’t look monstrous at first glance. In fact, it was rather beautiful, with glossy white hair that shone like silver even in the darkness, a handsome, delicate face, eyes dark as the depths of a summer night. The mane and tail were fine enough that they seemed to float, to imply graceful movement even when it was still.

It was only when you saw the horn, twisting and tipped with blood, saw the madness in its gaze and the way the damn thing was kicking and gouging the crap out of the ship—with the impression that it would do the same to whatever stood in its way, alive or dead—that you knew it for a monster.

It saw them watching and lowered its head for a charge at the bulkhead. The ship shuddered under the impact and the horn drove through a hole, a finger’s breadth from Van Gast’s hastily ducked head.

‘Can’t you do anything?’

‘Well, um, probably not much. It’s magic, so I’d need to know the spell to counteract it, see?’ Guld had wisely retreated to the bottom of the steps, out of reach of the horn.

‘What do I pay you for?’

Guld ticked off on his fingers. ‘Weather control, scrying, contact with other racketeers, occasional explosions.’

‘Can we add “disposal of unwelcome guests” to that?’ Another thud almost knocked Van Gast from his feet and showered him in chunks of battered wood. ‘Gods damn it, stop wrecking my bloody ship! Guld, start jingling your prayer bells. We might be going swimming, and I’d like Forn on our side.’

The worst of it was, they had no idea how it’d got there. Van Gast had been asleep when the first thuds had woken him. Any change in his ship always brought him instantly awake, but this—this had him leaping from his bed, heart thudding in his throat, trouble-bone itching behind his ribs, thinking they’d grounded on a reef or maybe another rack had sighted them and opened fire. He’d scrambled for both pistol and sword and was on the deck dressed in nothing but breeches before he’d realised the sound came from inside the guts of the ship. That was several hours, three injured crew and half a bottle of medicinal brandy ago. Maybe not medicinal exactly, but it’d made him feel better. Which is what medicinal meant.

‘There must be something. What about that travel spell thing you do?’

‘It’s too big, wouldn’t get further than half a mile or so.’

‘Half a mile? Excellent. Do it.’

‘But Van, that’d leave it in the sea. It’d drown. That’s not nice.’

‘I don’t recall nice being on that list you just gave me. Besides, we’ll all end up in the sea at this rate and it’s a long old swim to Estovan.’ He rubbed at his breastbone absently. Trouble all right, he didn’t need his little-magics to tell him that, but his trouble bone was scratching like a rat trying to escape his chest.

As if to belabour Van Gast’s point, the unicorn took the opportunity to scrape its horn menacingly on the other side of the bulkhead. Fine shavings of wood clogged Van Gast’s hair and he ran a hand through it distractedly.

‘Fine, fine. Nice. All right. Look, there must be a way of, I don’t know, making it less bloody angry?’

Guld tried a nervous smile. ‘Well, um, yes. There is, the usual way with unicorns. That calms them down.’

Van Gast gave him a flat glare that he hoped would make Guld choke on his own magic. ‘Oh yes, right. Here we are in the middle of the deeps, three days from anywhere, on a racketeer ship. The chances of finding a virgin are so slim, they’re sodding invisible. Half the crews’ wages go on bad women. Or men. Or both.’

‘What about Lanya?’

‘Don’t you have ears?’ Van Gast rolled his eyes at Guld’s blank look. ‘Her and Dillet. At it for ages.’

‘Well what about young Talin? He’s hardly even old enough to shave.’

‘Guld, I have every reason to suspect he was born not a virgin. This is a racketeer ship, not the vestal virgins’ rest home. Racketeers and virginity go together like turnips and custard. Think of something else.’

So, will Van Gast find out who is behind the nefarious Unicorn Plot? Will they find a virgin among a bunch of pirates/racketeers (not likely, if I’m honest). Will Van Gast use this to his advantage?

Tune in next time, which will be ooh when someone gives me a kick in the pants, or I need to procrastinate.

Julia Knight

Fantasy author. Excitement, adventure and dollops of romance